I’ve been thinking for a while about the propensity to substitute common words with similar-sounding, but more obscure, words (often in an effort to sound intelligent). However, the substitute is a different word and does not mean the same thing, which often results in a malapropism.

Urban Dictionary has a name for a person who generates this particular class of malapropism: a “Vocablabber.” Since this term is unlikely to enter widespread use, I hope that someone comes up with a better descriptor.

Why do Vocablabbers think they can get away with the substitution? The simplest answer is that most of these word pairs —whether by coincidence, or due to some linguistic truth that I am unaware of— arise under similar circumstances. They do not mean the same thing, of course, but they are both used to describe similar things. I imagine that most people who take this leap of faith are hoping that the words are essentially synonymous. They want a free upgrade to their word.

Below are some big ones that come to my mind. They come to mind because I happen to like the less common word in each of these pairs. I have not heard items 4 and 5 misused in real life, but I have almost misused them myself, so I thought I would include them.

Logistical – Logical

Logistics has to do with the management and distribution of resources. Logical has to do with logic. One cannot say “Logistically speaking, wouldn’t the best decision be to go to graduate school?” The confusion arises because the best choice “logistically speaking” often tends to be the best choice “logically.” To confuse things further, the word “logistic” also shows up in certain mathematical functions and in reference to symbolic logic.

Exasperate – Exacerbate

To exasperate someone is to irritate or annoy him or her. To exacerbate a situation is to make it worse. The confusion likely arises because in both cases, things are getting worse.

Compulsion – Compunction

Compulsion is the irresistible urge to do something. Compunction is a feeling of guilt. The confusion likely arises because people feel a compulsion to do things that they feel compunction about doing.

Superficial – Supercilious

Superficiality has to do with paying attention to things only on the surface (literally or metaphorically). Superciliousness is condescension. The confusion likely arises because a lot of people exhibit both traits.

Obtuse – Abstruse

Obtuse is an adjective applied to someone who is mentally slow, or something that is blunted or not acute. Abstruse is an adjective applied to something that is obscure or difficult to understand. The confusion likely arises because both entail difficulty in understanding.

Concerned – Concerted

To be concerned is to worry. To make a concerted effort is to make a joint effort with other people (think “concert”), not a serious effort. The confusion likely arises because concerned people make concerted efforts about the things they’re concerned about. Group efforts are usually more intense than solo efforts. A further source of error likely has to do with the desire to upgrade the word “concentrated.”

Here’s a bone for you: if you type “Define concerted” into Google you will get a definition that reads “Strenuously carried out; done with great effort.” I don’t know where this Google definition comes from, aside from people habitually using it wrong. It is not repeated in any dictionaries that I’ve checked. But you’ll notice that the word “concerted” makes a great deal of sense when applied to a group effort, because the root (“concert”) means precisely that. All definitions of “concerted” have to do with group activity, and the only explanation I can think of for using it so anomalously is that the incorrect definition has been grafted into Google’s systems.

In any case, this source is one of the best resources for identifying common errors in English, and it’s pretty clear. I recommend perusing the master list while you’re there; it’s fabulous. In fact, it looks like it includes a few of the other examples I’ve listed.

Ambiguous – ambivalent

Something is ambiguous if it is not clear. Ambivalence is the state of having conflicting or opposing feelings on a matter. The confusion often arises because ambivalent feelings have ambiguous outcomes, but the feelings themselves are not ambivalent if they are not clear! Neither is ambivalence the state of having no feelings one way or the other—it is the state of having feelings in both directions.

Promulgate – Proliferate

I misused “promulgate” last night, and that prompted me to add this one. To proliferate is to increase in numbers, or spread something (transitively or intransitively). Diseases can proliferate. One can proliferate ideas and nuclear weapons, though the term appears to have biological connotations and should be applied more readily to physical things than ideas. To promulgate is to promote, make widely known, or teach publicly, as with creeds and ideas. You cannot promulgate bacteria or pamphlets. The cause of the confusion is obvious, in that both involve spreading things and they both sound like “propagate,” which can be safely used in either context, though it sounds less idiomatic.